normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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