You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
