we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
