Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
