He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
