im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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