I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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