Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
