Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
