before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
