my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
