Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
