so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
