Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
