I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize