Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize