you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
