Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
