I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
