Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
