Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
