i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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