I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.