Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
