I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
