TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
