Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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