Porn is love you can see.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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