But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
