i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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