I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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