Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
