i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
