margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
