Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
