having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
