glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize