u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex