btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?