Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......