Is that why you're texting me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?