I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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