about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
