P.S. I can't hear my feet
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
