Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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