We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
