The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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