I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
