3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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