: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize