Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize