Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
