And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
