Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
