I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
