I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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