Your dad touched me again.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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