Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
then he tried to convert me to islam
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
