I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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