Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
