margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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