Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
