walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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