Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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