i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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