Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
