party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
