Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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