Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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