Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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