yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
