My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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