i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
