I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
