yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
